Practicing Hospitality: Opening Our Doors to the World

Giving our children the world is not just about globetrotting, its also about opening our own doors to the world. Through hospitality, we can invite the world into our home.

What does hospitality look like? To everyone it can look and feel different. I found some of my early inspiration in the Mongolian Steppes, in the favelas of Rio de Janeiro, at a table in Guatemala, and in my own home growing up.

What can hospitality look like?

• Inviting people into your home.
• Sharing generously.
• Demonstrating your genuine interest in another person’s life.
• Not treating every interaction as a transaction.

Expecting nothing in return:

While attending a block party on the streets of a favela in Rio de Janeiro, I met a family that, shortly after meeting me, invited me to join them for a meal at their house later that week. Coming from a very transactional and more individualistic culture, I was a little taken aback and thought that maybe they wanted something from me. I showed up, a little hesitant. They welcomed me in and we enjoyed a great meal together, and that was that. My gracious hosts simply wanted to get to know me and expected nothing in return for their generosity. It is such a sweet memory and an example of the Brazilian hospitality that I came to know and appreciate during my six months in Rio.

• Breaking down barriers and finding common ground.
• Showing, instead of telling.
• Inspiring and encouraging.

Subtle Hospitality at a table in Guatemala

As a teen, I spent part of a summer studying Spanish at a language school in Guatemala. During my time there, I stayed in the home of a local family. This family provided food and board to several students at a time, with new students (often young backpackers) constantly arriving and then leaving. The matriarch of the family, a short, elderly lady, cooked homemade meals for the students 6 days a week.

She could have churned out the meals like a business; apathetically providing a service in exchange for rent. Instead, at every meal, she would serve us and then quietly sit at the head of the table with a commanding yet welcoming presence.

On the wall behind her, was a cross and an image of Jesus. Religious art hung from the other walls surrounding the table. She smiled fondly as everyone devoured her delicious cooking. She did not eat with us and she rarely spoke. Because many of the students were just beginning their Spanish studies, she could not always communicate with her guests. But from time to time, she would softly chuckle as we laughed, suggesting that she was following at least parts of the conversations. Or maybe she was just trying to make us feel welcome at her table. Either way, her quiet presence at the head of that table, with Jesus over her shoulder, was powerful.

She treated her home and those in it as people to welcome, enjoy, and serve. In a noisy and transactional world, she demonstrated her faith and generosity to a seemingly endless rotation of travelers through her subtle, yet profound hospitality. This, more than any Pinterest board, is my inspiration.

Reasons to practice hospitality with your young kids.

By practicing hospitality with your children, you can teach them many valuable life skills and lessons.

• Model generosity and serving others.
• Demonstrate genuine curiosity (for other people, other cultures, and the world).
• Show your children what it looks like to extend grace.
• Provide opportunities for your children to practice their conversational skills.
• Give your children a community and global network.

How can you start practicing hospitality in your home?

• Get creative! Host a neighborhood block party on your front lawn or invite people over for a happy hour with some easy beverages and a few snacks.
• If you don’t have the space, find ways to host people elsewhere. Initiate a gathering at a park, bring your elderly neighbors flowers, demonstrate your gratitude for people in your community.
• Accept opportunities for genuine connection.
• Show hospitality to your own family. Sit with your kids while they are eating, even if you are not. Make your home a welcoming place and encourage conversation. You can fit hospitality into your daily life.

Prioritizing connection over perfection.

Looking back, my parents were incredibly hospitable – much more than I ever realized. Life was often chaotic, our house was regularly a mess, and our big family was LOUD. But my parents prioritized experiences and connection over perfection. If you wait for the perfect moment and the perfect space to open your doors, they will always be shut. Here are some ways my parents were incredibly generous and hospitable:

• Welcoming a foreign exchange student into our home when things did not work out with another family. Did they have time to plan? Not at all.
• Hosting young soccer coaches from England while they worked at a summer camp. Did my parents have a separate guest room with a private ensuite to offer? No. The coaches bunked in my brother’s room and he moved in with me during their stay with us. We remain in contact with them to this day.
• Hosting a multi-day/night Christmas celebration with relatives every year. All the kids slept on the floor of the playroom.
• Hosting an opposing soccer team. I still smile at this story. My soccer team had lost a tight state cup final match to another team from a town several hours away. Despite the tense game, our respective coaches formed a friendly connection. The next year that team was in town for a tournament. Our coach suggested getting together with the other team off the pitch, and my parents offered up our large backyard. Shortly after, roughly 36 preteen girls, our coaches, and our families gathered for a potluck in my parents’ backyard. We barbecued simple food, played an epic game of capture the flag with mixed teams (siblings included), and had a blast. Was it pretty last minute for my two working parents? Yes. Was our yard perfect? I guarantee you there were weeds growing in the flower beds. But my parents raised their hand and it was special that our two teams were able to have the time and space to really get to know each other. What a lesson in being a gracious loser!

I could list so many more examples of my parents’ imperfect but generous hospitality. None of these experiences were exactly pinterest-worthy, but they were definitely life-giving and some were even life-changing.

Today, I have contacts and friends all around the world, thanks in no small part to the hospitality of my parents.

Throughout this hospitality series, I will share tips and tricks from my own journey with practicing hospitality.

As I work on fine-tuning my hosting skills so that I can continue to open my doors with increasing confidence, I look to others for inspiration. My mother-in-law is remarkably organized, my friend is a fantastic cook, and I am surrounded by generous hearts. There are probably people in your life too who you can learn from. For me, refining my hosting skills is not about showing off. It is about eliminating that frenzy leading up to and during our time together so that when my guests are in my home, I can sit and actually enjoy their presence.

Here’s to work in progress. Cheers!