Flying solo with young kids can be a great experience. In fact, I travel alone with my kids so much that I find it easier in some ways than when other adults join us. My kids know my expectations and we have practiced traveling together a lot. It is also really neat to see my young kids step up and be my helpers when there is not another adult to help me.
After countless solo trips with my young kids, here are some thoughts on what has worked for me.
1. Stay calm and positive
Positive energy feeds on itself. Negative energy spirals. Flying solo with young kids requires some mental prep. Before leaving, I make sure to get in the right headspace and remind myself that I need to bring my A game. More patience, a softer voice, more praise and communication, and a lot of attention. This is not a plane ride where I get to sit and relax or watch a movie.
I find that my kids do better if they see mom upbeat and confident. Exude calm, positive energy. I think that is the most important tip.
2. Have a plan for screen time and clearly communicate it
What is your plan for screens? Especially if flying overnight or during nap time. If your kids turn into little monsters after too much screen time or you want to enforce time limits for other reasons, inform your kids ahead of time and help manage their expectations. Maybe you don’t want any screen time. How will you communicate that to your children before they find themselves sitting in front of a screen at their seat?
Enforcing my limitations at home helps. I don’t want the power struggle to take place on an airplane with an audience.
You know how best to communicate with your child. For me this would look something like “we are only watching two shows today” as I pull the iPad out. And then when they get 2/3s of the way through the second show, reminding them that we are putting the iPad away when the show is over. That second reminder is usually the key to an agreeable ending.
I also like to save screens for later in the flight if I can. This is harder if their seat comes with a screen. Usually I will have my kids do some independent activities and listen to an audio story at the start of the flight. I will pull out the iPad later if needed. On shorter flights this can work well because landing brings a natural end to screen time.
3. Pack fun activities
A new sticker book. A new Yoto story. A water marker coloring book. I try to find some fun things to bring with us and keep my children occupied. I really like the Yoto Mini for listening to audio stories when we don’t have wifi (otherwise Spotify works as well). You can also find free coloring printouts relating to your destination online and print them at home.
I don’t go crazy with activities. Mostly because we pack pretty light and don’t usually have the space to bring a lot of toys and activities for each of the kids. I once sat near a mom with a backpack full of fun activities. I was very impressed. She and her ~2 year old sat quietly in their seats playing together for the duration of the 2.5 hour flight. You can find a lot of creative ideas on Pinterest.
4. Pack fun food
We always make travel feel special by bringing some fun food that our kids don’t normally get to eat. Often this is goldfish or other packaged foods that we don’t regularly have at home. I keep them hidden and strategically offer them throughout the flight.
5. BUT AVOID TOO MUCH SUGAR!
I once sat across the aisle from a mom and her two kids. I was traveling solo with two kids as well. The mom boarded the flight holding a bag of candy for each of her kids. As you may guess, the flight did not go well for this mom. Her kids were bouncing off the walls while my two kids of similar age sat quietly in their seats. She looked completely defeated by the time the flight ended.
It’s not that my kids are any better than hers. If I had boarded the plane carrying two bags of candy, I would have found myself in the exact same situation.
The kids were begging for the candy before we even took off. The more they acted out, the more she used the candy to bribe them. The more candy they had, the more they acted out. And so on and so forth. Halfway through the 5 hour flight the candy was gone, her kids were loaded with sugar, and she had no apparent leverage. It was pretty chaotic.
Consistent with the idea of packing fun foods, I will sometimes bring something sweet for my kids to enjoy. It could be a slice of pumpkin bread that my kids will share. Or homemade treats that are lower in sugar than their store-bought counterparts (like muffins, sweet breads, or sourdough pop tarts). But I don’t let my kids know I have them. They are hidden away and come out at the end only if things are going well. I caution you against showing all your cards up front and feeding your kids a lot of sugar on an airplane.
6. Get last minute wiggles out at the gate
I usually use my stroller to help get my kids and our stuff through the airport. But I try to get my walkers out of the stroller as much as I can and always have them move around at the gate. I never want them to go from sitting in a stroller for an hour straight to sitting on a plane for several more hours.
To board early or not is always a question. I usually carry on our bags, so boarding early is important if it is a full flight. But it does lengthen our time on the airplane. You may decide early boarding and the extra time spent on the plane is not worth it.
7. Always go to the bathroom before long security lines, boarding, and landing
Our rule is everyone tries to go potty before we enter a space or part of our trip where we won’t be able to access a toilet for a while. That is before security if there is long line, before boarding the plane, and before landing.
We also fill up our water bottles before boarding the airplane and board every flight with clean diapers. If you have a potty training child, consider putting pull-ups on them before you get on the plane. You can’t prevent every blowout or diaper leak. We once had a massive blowout during takeoff. But starting with a clean diaper can help.
You never know how long it will take to get to cruising altitude and have the seatbelt signs turn off. We once had such a bumpy flight that beverage service did not happen. Will you be delayed on the tarmac? The main point is to take care of the things you can control to avoid issues when there are unexpected delays.
8. Pack Light
If you aren’t going to have any help, only pack what you can carry. Check out my post on packing tips for trips with young kids.
9. Talk your kids through every step and offer praise
I constantly talk to my kids as we walk through the airport and let them know what is coming next and how they can help me. Kids like to know what to expect and how they can be helpful. Praise your kids and tell them they are being a big help. My praise and their sense of pride from knowing they are helping fuels more helpful attitudes. Here are some of the ways I talk them through the travel day:
As we approach the airport:
“Ok, we are going to have to get our bags out of the car/off the train. You can be my helpers by standing right next to our stuff with a hand on the suitcase while I unload everything.”
“GREAT WORK! It was so helpful when you stood and watched the bags because mom could focus on getting the carseat out of the car.”
As we approach security
“We are going to go through security to make sure everyone is only bringing the things we are allowed to bring on the plane. It is very important that you listen to everything the officers say. They may ask us to do some silly things, like take our shoes off, or stand somewhere, but we need to do everything the officers say. Do you understand?”
Once we get through security, I usually give my oldest a task, such as putting away bins, while I am organizing things. Other people usually see my child helping and say something like “wow you are being so helpful” or “I see you are your mom’s big helper”. Outside praise really makes my child beam with pride. Then I follow up with praise of my own. “Thank you so much for doing that. I was busy getting all the bags sorted so it was so helpful having you there to take care of the bins!”
As we board the plane.
“Ok, mommy is going to drop off the stroller at the bottom of the jet bridge. Then we will get on all together and find our seats.” (For tips on selecting seats, check out this post).
I recommend telling each child where they will be sitting on the plane ahead of time so you don’t have tears or bickering on the plane over seats. One of my kids loves sitting in the window seat. But one time we brought our car seat for a younger sibling and forgot to let the kids know that the car seat would be in the window seat on that flight. We had a bit of a meltdown.
Before we deplane
“They are going to bring our stroller to us on the jet bridge. Other people will be trying to get off the plane, so we can’t be in their way while we wait for our stroller. You kids will need to stand against the wall to let people by. It will be helpful if you watch our bags while I get the stroller out of its bag.”
“Awesome! We are all done. You did so well on that flight. Thanks for being such great little travelers!!”
In conclusion…
Don’t let the fear of flying solo with young kids hold you back from an adventure. You may be surprised by what you and your kids are capable of doing on your own. Only myself and strangers have witnessed my kids’ best travel days. When we fly with my husband or their grandparents, they do well. But when they fly with just me, they are unbelievable.
Maybe they realize I am doing something hard and they want to help me. It is really cute to see them take on greater responsibility and kick into helper mode. Maybe it is having to only react to one set of expectations from one authority figure that simplifies things for them. Or maybe I am less distracted with adult conversations and am able to give them all my attention. Whatever the reason, I sure appreciate it and we make some really sweet memories together.
I encourage you to give solo travel with your kids a try. Maybe start with a trip to visit family or a friend so that you can get help once you land. Then you can work your way up to bigger, more independent trips. I am continuing to venture further and am constantly pushing my comfort zone.
